In the Name of Allah, the Merciful, the Gracious

As-Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu

ISLAMIC

RESEARCH AND INFORMATION CENTRE

The Concept of Polygamy

Polygamy in Islam is also one of the most misunderstood issues of Islam. So it is necessary to elucidate it appropriately.

We must know that Islam wants people to lead a clean and pious life. Islam respects the natural demands of both men and women. It neither suppresses them, nor does it leave them to be misled. So, it shows the right way to meet the natural demands maintaining cleanliness and piety.

Polygamy means the plurality of mates. There are two types of polygamy. They are: 1) Polygyny: It is for men          2) Polyandry: It is for women.

 Polygyny means having more than one wife at the same time, and polyandry means having more than one husband at the same time.

In Islam, polyandry is absolutely forbidden, but polygyny is permissible with certain conditions and under certain circumstances. Allah says:

 “Marry women of your choice, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then marry only one.” (4: 3)

This manifests that polygyny is not permissible for all Muslims. It is permissible for only those Muslims who are able to deal justly with all wives and are ready to take the burden of risks and responsibilities involved in it. If the person who is not able to discharge the rights of more than one wife, practises polygyny, he will be a sinner since he disobeyed Allah’s Command. Similarly, the person who has more than one wife and is able to deal justly, but does not deal justly with his wives, will also be a sinner.

The person who sends his wife to earn money so as to share the expenditure of the family is not eligible either for polygyny. Since he has not enough substance to maintain even a single wife and to meet the necessities and demands of even a single wife, how can he meet the necessities and demands of more than one wife? How can he maintain them?

Polygyny is not a laxity for the males. It is a burden and extra responsibility because equality between the wives in treatment and provisions is a pre-requisite of polygyny and a condition that must be fulfilled by the one who has more than one wife.

Many people discuss polygyny as if Islam has invented the practice of polygyny. One must bear in mind that Islam did not invent the practice of polygyny. Polygyny had been in the practice throughout the world before the advent of Prophet Muhammed. And when Prophet Muhammed stepped into this world, polygyny was very common.

In fact, Islam has reduced the practice of polygyny to the incredible extent having prescribed certain conditions for practising it, and having confined man to monogamy in absence of those conditions. This manifests Islam favours monogamy, but allows polygyny for certain reasons.

This clarifies that polygyny is permissible with certain conditions and under certain circumstances. It is not an article of Faith or obligatory as Salaat (prayer) and Saum (fasting). Islam has neither asked nor encouraged to practise polygyny. Moreover, the responsibilities and liabilities imposed by Islam, and thus risks involved in polygyny stop men practising polygyny. That is why, in Muslim community, we see the rate of polygyny is almost negligible when we compare it to the rate of monogamy. This is the real position of polygyny in Islam.

 The Wisdom behind Polygyny

Why did Islam allow polygyny?

Islam did not eradicate polygyny. For, polygyny benefits a lot in the following ways:

If a woman finds that her husband is impotent or if she is fed up with her husband’s irresponsible behaviour, then, Islam suggests patch up methods. If they failed, it gives woman the following two options:

1) She may continue the relationship with her husband neglecting everything.

Or

2) She may take divorce (khula‘): she may leave him and marry someone else.

Similarly, if a man finds that his wife is unable to satiate him sexually or if he is fed up with his wife’s irresponsible behaviour, then Islam suggests patch up methods. If they failed, it gives man the same two options:

1) He may continue the relationship with his wife neglecting everything.

Or

2) He may divorce (talaaq) her: he may leave her and marry someone else.

If a woman takes khula’ (divorce) from her husband and leaves her husband, it is not difficult for a divorced man to find another woman to marry.  But if a man divorces her wife, the following things may happen to the woman.

1)      Most of divorced women do not get easily a man to marry. Thus they become sexually insatiate and mentally unsatisfied.

2)      Most of divorced women become insecure.

3)      Most of divorced women lose shelter.

4)      The evil men and the society victimize most of divorced women.

5)      Most of divorced women may come across undesired situations.

Thus divorce may create a lot of problems and difficulties for women. The same is not true in case of divorced men. So, to save women from these problems and difficulties, Islam gives men one more option. That is of polygyny. If the wife does not discharge her duties and responsibilities properly or if the wife is unable to satiate her husband sexually, then instead of giving a divorce to her, the husband may retain her as his wife and take another wife who can keep him happy and satisfied. Thus the first wife will be secured and the husband will also be satisfied. Thus Islam has helped the women unwanted by their husband in getting shelter and security. Moreover, Polygyny prevents man from indulging in extra-marital courtship and sex.

If the act of another marriage of husband irritates the previous wife, she is free to leave him and choose someone else for marriage if she can do that.

This is the one aspect of polygyny that is related to individual life. Come on let’s have a look on another aspect of polgyny that is related to social life.

Now think who would like to give their daughters or sisters into the wedlock of a married man. No well to do families will give their daughters or sisters into the wedlock of a married man. Only those who are indigent and destitute or whose daughters or sisters are divorced or widows or have some drawbacks and are not selected usually by fresh males, give their daughter or sister into the wedlock of a married man. It clearly means that a married man gets usually an indigent girl or an orphan or a widow or a divorced woman or a woman who has some drawbacks and is not selected by fresh males. It is the social responsibility on individuals to get such women settled down. But no one can force fresh males to have such women as their wives. Islam has given every one the right of choice. So, here, polygyny comes as a saviour to such women. It gives a life to such deprived women.

Today, we see that extreme poverty has made many women practise prostitution. Many helpless and labour women are raped because they are not financially and physically secured. Strong sexual passion has made many widows, many divorced women and many of the women unmarried because of poverty or any drawbacks indulge in illicit relations and sex. So, to solve the problems of such women, one of the solutions¹ that Islam prescribes is polygyny. Polygyny reduces the rate of rapes, prostitution, pre-marital and extra-marital courtship and sex to the considerable extent.

These are the some of the benefits of polygyny. Therefore, no realistic and practical person can deny the necessity of polygyny in human society. Only a utopian can object to polygyny. Moreover, polygyny is practicable. Husband can meet the demands and requirements of his families, and his wives can also meet the demands and requirements of family life.

On contrary, polyandry is an unnecessary and impracticable thing. A family cannot come into existence on practising polyandry. On practising polyandry, the house of the woman becomes a place of prostitute where men could visit and fulfill their desires, but cannot stay together and live a fulfilled life because it is not possible. So, polyandry has been forbidden.

Modernism dislikes polygyny, but makes prostitution available and facilitates, without any conditions and restrictions, pre-marital and extra-marital sex for all. Therefore we see that pre-marital and extra-marital sex is increasing day by day. And this has made marriages worthless, and thus the lives of widows, divorced women, indigent girls, orphans etc. have been made tough.

 In Islam, if a man wants to have a sex with a woman, he will have to take her as his partner, take her responsibilities on his shoulders and provide security and support for her: it means he must marry her. This makes man abstain from courtship and illicit sex. Moreover, the responsibilities and liabilities imposed by Islam, and thus risks involved in polygyny stop men practising polygyny. But in modernity, if a man wants to have a sex with a woman, he can have it without any conditions and commitments, he will have to take no responsibilities and he need not have to provide any security and support to her. There is nothing to stop man carrying out courtship and illicit sex. Women must consider these differences between Islam and modernity regarding sex and decide which is safe for them.

A few women tell that the woman whose husband has more than one wives feel hurt. It is a general rule that individual’s cause is sacrificed for the social cause. Individual’s desires, belongings, etc. are sacrificed for the well-being and welfare of the society. As men should be ready for giving their life for the well-being and safety of their society, so women should be ready, if necessary, for sharing her rights with her fellow women for the same.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1. The other solutions that Islam prescribes to eradicate prostitution, rapes, pre-marital and extra-marital courtship and sex are:

1)       Fear of Allah and the Hereafter.

2)       As soon as individuals reach puberty, they must be married.          

1)       Implementation of Hijaab.

2)       Forbidding sex education till the marriage.

3)       Putting ban on the ways and the things that arouse individuals on sex.

4)       Arousing individuals on moral values, making them realize their duties and responsibilities, and making them concentrate on their personality development.

5)       Severe punishment on committing pre-marital and extra-marital sex.

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The Marriages of Prophet Muhammed

Many people, without knowing the reality, object to the marriages of Prophet Muhammed. So, the marriages of Prophet Muhammed should be studied briefly, so that misconceptions may be clarified.

When Muhammed was twenty five year old, he married a forty years old twice widowed Khadija who had had children from previous two late husbands. This was the first marriage of Prophet Muhammed. They both lived together happily for twenty-five years until Khadija died at the age of sixty-five. They proved that the differences of age and social status between the spouses do not disturb the marital life if both the spouses are conscious of the Commitments related to the marital life (see the concept of marriage). Prophet Muhammed did not marry any other woman during the lifetime of Khadija because there was no need of second marriage. All the other marriages of Prophet Muhammed took place only after the death of Khadija because of the requirements and the demands of the time, the circumstances and his mission. As regards Prophet Muhammed’s marriages, Dr. Hammudah Abdalati propounds his research in the following words:

“Reviewing the marriages of Muhammed individually one does not fail to find the actual reasons behind these marriages. They may be classified as follows:

1)      The Prophet came to the world as an ideal model for mankind, and so he was in all aspects of his life. Marriage in particular is a striking illustration. He was the kindest husband, the most loving and cherishable partner. He had to undertake all stages of human experience and moral test. He lived with one wife and with more than one, with the old and the young, with the widow and the divorcee, with the pleasant and the temperamental, with the renowned and the humble; but in all cases he was the pattern of kindness and consolation. He was designated to experience all these variant aspects of human behaviour. For him this could not have been a physical pleasure; it was a moral trial as well as a human task, and a hard one, too.

2)      The Prophet came to establish morality and assure every Muslim of security, protection, moral integrity and a decent life. His mission was to put to the test in his life and did not stay in the stationary form of theory. As usual, he took the hardest part and did his share in the most inconvenient manner. Wars and persecutions burdened the Muslims with many widows, orphans and divorcees. They had to be protected and maintained by the surviving Muslim men. It was his practice to help these women get resettled by marriage to his companions. Some women were rejected by the companions and some others sought his personal patronage and protection. Realizing fully their conditions and sacrifices for the cause of Islam, he had to do something to relieve them. One course of relief was to take them as his own wives and accept the challenge of heavy liabilities. So he did and maintained more than one wife at a time which was no fun or easy course. He had to take part in the rehabilitation of those widows, orphans and divorcees because he could not ask his companions to do things which he himself was not prepared to do or participate in. These women are trusts of the Muslims and had to be kept jointly. What he did, then, was his share of responsibility, and always his share was the largest and heaviest. That is why he had more than one wife, and had more wives than any of his companions.

3)      There were many war prisoners captured by the Muslims and entitled to security and protection. They were not killed or denied any human right, human or physical. On the contrary, they were helped to settle down. That also was another moral burden on the Muslims and had to be shouldered jointly as a common responsibility. Here, again, Muhammed carried his share and took some responsibilities by marrying two of those captives.

4)      The Prophet contracted some of his marriages for socio-political reasons. His principal concern was the future of Islam. He was most interested in strengthening the Muslims by all bonds. It was by his marriage to Juwairiyah that he gained the support for Islam of the whole clan of Bani Al-Mustaliq and their allied tribes. It was through marriage to Safiyah that he neutralized a great section of the hostile Jews of Arabia. By accepting Mary, the Copt from Egypt, as his wife, he formed a political alliance with a king of great magnitude. It was also a gesture of friendship with a neighbouring king that Muhammed married Zaynab who was presented to him by the Negus of Abyssinia in whose territory the early Muslims found safe refuge.

5)      By contracting most of these marriages, the Prophet meant to eliminate the caste system, the racial and national vanities, and the religious prejudices. He married some of the humblest and poorest women. He married a Coptic girl from Egypt, a Jewess of a different religion and race, a Negro girl from Abyssinia. He was not satisfied with merely teaching brotherhood and equality but he meant what he taught and put it into practice.

6)      Some of the Prophet marriages were for legislative reasons and to abolish certain corrupt traditions. Such was his marriage to Zaynab, a divorcee of the freed slave Zaid.” (Islam in focus Pg. 177, 178)

Marriage with Zainab bint Jahash

It had been a custom among Arabs that they used to consider their adopted sons as real ones. Even today many people observe this false and unreal custom. Since this an illusion, Islam rejects this and asks Muslims to be realistic because, if Allah had wished to make their adopted sons as their real ones, He would have done this naturally. When He did not do a thing by His Wish, what right do we (His slaves) have to do a thing that is against His Wish?

Muhammed set his slave Zaid, the son of Haaris, free and adopted him as his son. So, people began to call Zaid as Zaid, the son of Muhammed, instead of calling him Zaid, the son of Haaris. But Allah did not like it as it was against His Will. So, the Holy Quraan says:

“He (Allah) has not made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths. But Allah says the Truth, and he guides to the (right) Way. Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allah: but if you know not their fathers then (call them) your brothers in the Religion, and Mawaalikum (your freed slaves).” (33: 4, 5)

The custom was so rooted that mere theoretical teaching was not enough to eradicate it. It had to be denounced practically. Since, Muhammed is the Final Messenger of Allah, and practical paragon for Muslims, so, it is on him to denounce this non-sense custom practically. And Allah prepared the ground for it.

Prophet Muhammed arranged the marriage of his cousin Zainab bint Jahash with Zaid, the freed slave. But the marriage did not work for them. Zaid divorced her. Allah utilized this opportunity to eradicate the illusion that an adopted son becomes a real one. Allah arranged the marriage of Zainab with Muhammed. At first, Muhammed hesitated to marry Zainab. So, Allah revealed to him: “you did fear the people (that they may say Muhammed married the divorced wife of his Adopted son), whereas Allah had a better right that you should fear Him. So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her). We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. divorced them). And Allah’s Command must be fulfilled. There is no blame on the Prophet in that which Allah has made legal for him.” (33: 37, 38)

Thus, having married the divorcee of the adopted son, Muhammed, both theoretically and practically, denounced the unreal custom. This event also indicates that the customs, the traditions, the cultures, the rites and the rituals, which are not based on realities, facts, truth, justice, knowledge and wisdom, must be terminated.

Muhammed’s Marriage with ‘Aaeeshah

Many people objected to the marriage of Muhammed with ‘Aaeeshah because of their age-difference. They must know Allah has not prescribed any standard age-difference between the spouses because it is not the age-difference that makes the marital bond strong, it is the consciousness of the Commitments of marriage that makes the marital bond strong. That’s why we see that even after a lot of age-difference between Muhammed and Khadija, and between Muhammed and ‘Aaeeshah, they lived a successful and happy married life by the Grace of Allah because they were conscious of the Commitments related to married life. So it is not the age-difference that we should consider first in a marriage. It is the consciousness of the Commitments of marriage in man and woman that we should consider first if, at all, we want the marital life to be effective and functional. The then Muslims used to realize this so they never objected to such marriages. Moreover, marriages are arranged with mutual consents of both bride and bridegroom. When Muhammed, ‘Aaeeshah and her parents had no objections to the marriage, when ‘Aaeeshah’s parents with their pleasure arranged the marriage, how can anyone object to the marriage of ‘Aaeeshah.

Today, there are people, who could not maintain even a single wife, accuse Muhammed for his multiple marriages. They must see whether Muhammed maintained his wives successfully or not, whether he has discharged all the responsibilities and liabilities properly or not, whether his wives were pleased with him or not. This has been examined during the lifetime of Muhammed. Allah asked Muhammed to offer luxuries of life against his partnership. Allah says:

“O Prophet! Say to your wives: ‘If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, - then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner.’” (33: 28)

But none of Muhammed’s wives was ready to take luxuries of life sacrificing Muhammed’s company. All of them wanted to be his wives sacrificing all luxuries of life. This itself is enough to prove how successful Muhammed was in his marital life, and how much his wives were pleased with him. 

People, who are unable to maintain even a single wife, have no right to criticize the one who maintained successfully more than one wives. They have to appreciate him because they all know maintaining more than one wife is not a play, and Muhammed has maintained all his wives successfully.

    Moreover, in the human history, it is not just Muhammed and his followers who practised polygyny. The Prophets of Jews, Christians and Muslims alike, like Ibraaheem (Abraham), Ya‘qhoob (Jacob), Da-ood (David), Sulaimaan (Solomon), etc. also practised polygyny. And in some other religions, we find not just polygyny, but also polyandry, intimacy, courtship and illicit sex too. So, before criticizing Islam for polygyny, they should see what their religious founders and leaders have done and how their religion featured women.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © NOORUL HUSSAIN K. 2004